Drew the Centaur
A webcomic
Woman holding a child: Hi, I'm here for the children's reading group.
Woman covering her child's eyes: Oh my gosh! You're not wearing pants.
Drew the centaur: Yeah, sorry. I tried wearing pants one day and it was too hard to get them down to pee.
Drew: That day didn't end well.
At the library:
Boss: Well, Drew, looks like you've been doing a great job since we hired you last week.
Drew: Thank you!
Boss: But some patrons find you a bit unsettling. If you could try to be a little more personable, that would be great.
Drew: Hmm. Do you have any tips on how to improve that?
Boss: Just add a little more of a human touch.
Drew: Okay...
Boss: Be a little more bipedal, if you know what I mean.
Boss: Wait, wait… sorry, that came out wrong.
Drew: Gotcha.
At a bar:
Drew: I don't like going out. I always get self-conscious about my butt being too big.
Drew's centaur body is visible.
Steve: Your butt is fine!
A server is carrying a plate of food in front of Drew and he has to back up a little.
Server: Excuse me.
Woman behind Drew: AH!
Drew, looking back: I'm sorry! Are you okay?
Woman: Watch where you're going, fatass!
Drew looks embarrassed.
Steve: Hey, don't listen to her, Man.
Employee: Excuse me, sir. You can't be in here without shoes on.
Drew: Oh, sorry.
Drew: I'm not a fan of shoes. My mom has to nail them to my feet.
The employee has a pained expression.
Drew is outside the bar looking overwhelmed and a woman comes up to him.
Olive: Hey, you okay?
Drew: Um... I'm fine, thanks. I've always been this way, it's just how I am.
Olive: What way? Anxious?
Drew: Oh. I thought you meant… (he gestures towards his body)
Olive: Like, "are you okay, because you appear to be a centaur?"
Drew: Something like that.
Olive: Maybe I can fix that for you.
Drew: What d-
Olive: Let me just grab my sword from the van.
Drew: WAIT!
Olive: I'm kidding. I would never use my sword like that.
Drew: Heh
Olive: Then I'd have to CLEAN it, and that's a pain in the butt.
Steve: I got wings to go.
Olive: Wow, really?
Olive: Oh, HOT wings, right? That makes sense. I thought you meant...
Olive envisions a scene where Steve has wings and says "See you guys later," and flies away.
Steve: Hmm, that sounds pretty unrealistic.
Olive: Yeah, I guess so.
Steve: Well, see ya later.
Steve climbs onto Drew the centaur's back and Drew gallops away while Olive watches.
Steve: I'll be back soon. Thanks for watching Lexi.
Drew: My pleasure, Steve.
Steve: But this time, PLEASE don't try to go down the tube slide with her.
Cut to Drew stuck awkwardly in the tube slide. Kid in the background: What IS that?
Drew: I need help.
Cut to the present.
Drew: I've learned my lesson.
Drew: I think.
Lexi: Drew, I made a doll of you. Wanna see?
Drew: Yeah!
Lexi hands him a My Little Pony body stuck to the top half of a naked Barble doll.
Drew: Wow. The chest is a bit much, but otherwise it's spot on.
Lexi: If you and Daddy got married, you could be my SECOND daddy.
Drew: I wouldn't mind being your second daddy, Lexi. But we won't get married. Unlike your daddy, I like to go out with women.
Lexi: But you never go out with ANYONE besides Daddy.
Drew: You have a solid point.
A webcomic
Comic Text
Woman holding a child: Hi, I'm here for the children's reading group.
Woman covering her child's eyes: Oh my gosh! You're not wearing pants.
Drew the centaur: Yeah, sorry. I tried wearing pants one day and it was too hard to get them down to pee.
Drew: That day didn't end well.
At the library:
Boss: Well, Drew, looks like you've been doing a great job since we hired you last week.
Drew: Thank you!
Boss: But some patrons find you a bit unsettling. If you could try to be a little more personable, that would be great.
Drew: Hmm. Do you have any tips on how to improve that?
Boss: Just add a little more of a human touch.
Drew: Okay...
Boss: Be a little more bipedal, if you know what I mean.
Boss: Wait, wait… sorry, that came out wrong.
Drew: Gotcha.
At a bar:
Drew: I don't like going out. I always get self-conscious about my butt being too big.
Drew's centaur body is visible.
Steve: Your butt is fine!
A server is carrying a plate of food in front of Drew and he has to back up a little.
Server: Excuse me.
Woman behind Drew: AH!
Drew, looking back: I'm sorry! Are you okay?
Woman: Watch where you're going, fatass!
Drew looks embarrassed.
Steve: Hey, don't listen to her, Man.
Employee: Excuse me, sir. You can't be in here without shoes on.
Drew: Oh, sorry.
Drew: I'm not a fan of shoes. My mom has to nail them to my feet.
The employee has a pained expression.
Drew is outside the bar looking overwhelmed and a woman comes up to him.
Olive: Hey, you okay?
Drew: Um... I'm fine, thanks. I've always been this way, it's just how I am.
Olive: What way? Anxious?
Drew: Oh. I thought you meant… (he gestures towards his body)
Olive: Like, "are you okay, because you appear to be a centaur?"
Drew: Something like that.
Olive: Maybe I can fix that for you.
Drew: What d-
Olive: Let me just grab my sword from the van.
Drew: WAIT!
Olive: I'm kidding. I would never use my sword like that.
Drew: Heh
Olive: Then I'd have to CLEAN it, and that's a pain in the butt.
Steve: I got wings to go.
Olive: Wow, really?
Olive: Oh, HOT wings, right? That makes sense. I thought you meant...
Olive envisions a scene where Steve has wings and says "See you guys later," and flies away.
Steve: Hmm, that sounds pretty unrealistic.
Olive: Yeah, I guess so.
Steve: Well, see ya later.
Steve climbs onto Drew the centaur's back and Drew gallops away while Olive watches.
Steve: I'll be back soon. Thanks for watching Lexi.
Drew: My pleasure, Steve.
Steve: But this time, PLEASE don't try to go down the tube slide with her.
Cut to Drew stuck awkwardly in the tube slide. Kid in the background: What IS that?
Drew: I need help.
Cut to the present.
Drew: I've learned my lesson.
Drew: I think.
Lexi: Drew, I made a doll of you. Wanna see?
Drew: Yeah!
Lexi hands him a My Little Pony body stuck to the top half of a naked Barble doll.
Drew: Wow. The chest is a bit much, but otherwise it's spot on.
Lexi: If you and Daddy got married, you could be my SECOND daddy.
Drew: I wouldn't mind being your second daddy, Lexi. But we won't get married. Unlike your daddy, I like to go out with women.
Lexi: But you never go out with ANYONE besides Daddy.
Drew: You have a solid point.
A Human-Scaled Journey
Info Comics
Oops Sorry
Drew the Centaur
Don't Get Any Ideas
Averting the Flame Wars
Think Before You Think
(see more)
I'm Sylvia Odhner. You can hire me to make comics like the ones on this site, or other types of illustration-based projects. For more info, check out my services:
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