Drew the Centaur
A webcomic
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Woman holding a child: Hi, I'm here for the children's reading group.
Woman covering her child's eyes: Oh my gosh! You're not wearing pants.
Drew the centaur: Yeah, sorry. I tried wearing pants one day and it was too hard to get them down to pee.
Drew: That day didn't end well.
At the library:
Boss: Well, Drew, looks like you've been doing a great job since we hired you last week.
Drew: Thank you!
Boss: But some patrons find you a bit unsettling. If you could try to be a little more personable, that would be great.
Drew: Hmm. Do you have any tips on how to improve that?
Boss: Just add a little more of a human touch.
Drew: Okay...
Boss: Be a little more bipedal, if you know what I mean.
Boss: Wait, wait… sorry, that came out wrong.
Drew: Gotcha.
At a bar:
Drew: I don't like going out. I always get self-conscious about my butt being too big.
Drew's centaur body is visible.
Steve: Your butt is fine!
A server is carrying a plate of food in front of Drew and he has to back up a little.
Server: Excuse me.
Woman behind Drew: AH!
Drew, looking back: I'm sorry! Are you okay?
Woman: Watch where you're going, fatass!
Drew looks embarrassed.
Steve: Hey, don't listen to her, Man.
Employee: Excuse me, sir. You can't be in here without shoes on.
Drew: Oh, sorry.
Drew: I'm not a fan of shoes. My mom has to nail them to my feet.
The employee has a pained expression.
Drew is outside the bar looking overwhelmed and a woman comes up to him.
Olive: Hey, you okay?
Drew: Um... I'm fine, thanks. I've always been this way, it's just how I am.
Olive: What way? Anxious?
Drew: Oh. I thought you meant… (he gestures towards his body)
Olive: Like, "are you okay, because you appear to be a centaur?"
Drew: Something like that.
Olive: Maybe I can fix that for you.
Drew: What d-
Olive: Let me just grab my sword from the van.
Drew: WAIT!
Olive: I'm kidding. I would never use my sword like that.
Drew: Heh
Olive: Then I'd have to CLEAN it, and that's a pain in the butt.
Steve: I got wings to go.
Olive: Wow, really?
Olive: Oh, HOT wings, right? That makes sense. I thought you meant...
Olive envisions a scene where Steve has wings and says "See you guys later," and flies away.
Steve: Hmm, that sounds pretty unrealistic.
Olive: Yeah, I guess so.
Steve: Well, see ya later.
Steve climbs onto Drew the centaur's back and Drew gallops away while Olive watches.
Steve: I'll be back soon. Thanks for watching Lexi.
Drew: My pleasure, Steve.
Steve: But this time, PLEASE don't try to go down the tube slide with her.
Cut to Drew stuck awkwardly in the tube slide. Kid in the background: What IS that?
Drew: I need help.
Cut to the present.
Drew: I've learned my lesson.
Drew: I think.
Lexi: Drew, I made a doll of you. Wanna see?
Drew: Yeah!
Lexi hands him a My Little Pony body stuck to the top half of a naked Barble doll.
Drew: Wow. The chest is a bit much, but otherwise it's spot on.
Lexi: If you and Daddy got married, you could be my SECOND daddy.
Drew: I wouldn't mind being your second daddy, Lexi. But we won't get married. Unlike your daddy, I like to go out with women.
Lexi: But you never go out with ANYONE besides Daddy.
Drew: You have a solid point.
A webcomic
![](/centaur/centaur1.png)
![](/centaur/centaur2.png)
![](/centaur/centaur3a.png)
![](/centaur/centaur3b.png)
![](/centaur/centaur4a.png)
![](/centaur/centaur4b.png)
![](/centaur/centaur5a.png)
![](/centaur/centaur5b.png)
![](/centaur/centaur6.png)
![](/centaur/centaur7.png)
![](/centaur/centaur8.png)
Comic Text
Woman holding a child: Hi, I'm here for the children's reading group.
Woman covering her child's eyes: Oh my gosh! You're not wearing pants.
Drew the centaur: Yeah, sorry. I tried wearing pants one day and it was too hard to get them down to pee.
Drew: That day didn't end well.
At the library:
Boss: Well, Drew, looks like you've been doing a great job since we hired you last week.
Drew: Thank you!
Boss: But some patrons find you a bit unsettling. If you could try to be a little more personable, that would be great.
Drew: Hmm. Do you have any tips on how to improve that?
Boss: Just add a little more of a human touch.
Drew: Okay...
Boss: Be a little more bipedal, if you know what I mean.
Boss: Wait, wait… sorry, that came out wrong.
Drew: Gotcha.
At a bar:
Drew: I don't like going out. I always get self-conscious about my butt being too big.
Drew's centaur body is visible.
Steve: Your butt is fine!
A server is carrying a plate of food in front of Drew and he has to back up a little.
Server: Excuse me.
Woman behind Drew: AH!
Drew, looking back: I'm sorry! Are you okay?
Woman: Watch where you're going, fatass!
Drew looks embarrassed.
Steve: Hey, don't listen to her, Man.
Employee: Excuse me, sir. You can't be in here without shoes on.
Drew: Oh, sorry.
Drew: I'm not a fan of shoes. My mom has to nail them to my feet.
The employee has a pained expression.
Drew is outside the bar looking overwhelmed and a woman comes up to him.
Olive: Hey, you okay?
Drew: Um... I'm fine, thanks. I've always been this way, it's just how I am.
Olive: What way? Anxious?
Drew: Oh. I thought you meant… (he gestures towards his body)
Olive: Like, "are you okay, because you appear to be a centaur?"
Drew: Something like that.
Olive: Maybe I can fix that for you.
Drew: What d-
Olive: Let me just grab my sword from the van.
Drew: WAIT!
Olive: I'm kidding. I would never use my sword like that.
Drew: Heh
Olive: Then I'd have to CLEAN it, and that's a pain in the butt.
Steve: I got wings to go.
Olive: Wow, really?
Olive: Oh, HOT wings, right? That makes sense. I thought you meant...
Olive envisions a scene where Steve has wings and says "See you guys later," and flies away.
Steve: Hmm, that sounds pretty unrealistic.
Olive: Yeah, I guess so.
Steve: Well, see ya later.
Steve climbs onto Drew the centaur's back and Drew gallops away while Olive watches.
Steve: I'll be back soon. Thanks for watching Lexi.
Drew: My pleasure, Steve.
Steve: But this time, PLEASE don't try to go down the tube slide with her.
Cut to Drew stuck awkwardly in the tube slide. Kid in the background: What IS that?
Drew: I need help.
Cut to the present.
Drew: I've learned my lesson.
Drew: I think.
Lexi: Drew, I made a doll of you. Wanna see?
Drew: Yeah!
Lexi hands him a My Little Pony body stuck to the top half of a naked Barble doll.
Drew: Wow. The chest is a bit much, but otherwise it's spot on.
Lexi: If you and Daddy got married, you could be my SECOND daddy.
Drew: I wouldn't mind being your second daddy, Lexi. But we won't get married. Unlike your daddy, I like to go out with women.
Lexi: But you never go out with ANYONE besides Daddy.
Drew: You have a solid point.
![Comic Series](/pics/h-comicseries.png)
A Human-Scaled Journey
Info Comics
Oops Sorry
Drew the Centaur
Don't Get Any Ideas
Averting the Flame Wars
Think Before You Think
(see more)
![About Me](/pics/h-aboutme.png)
I'm Sylvia Odhner. You can hire me to make comics like the ones on this site, or other types of illustration-based projects. For more info, check out my services:
Info Comics
Illustration & Design
Contact me:
![sylvia at sylviaodhner dot com](/pics/email.png)