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Lily's Dream

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Lily: I dreamed I forgot to get dressed and I was riding to work completely naked. Simon: Was I there?
Lily: Yeah. You didn't seem to notice.
Simon: Well, I'm asexual. Without the arousal response, I have no way of noticing the absence of clothes. I'm kidding. I probably noticed, I just didn't want to embarrass you.
Lily: Oh, so you'd rather let me arrive at my job where... ...much stranger things have happened than someone showing up in the buff.
(Spencer is wearing a diaper and tries to hand one to Lily)
Lily: But I wish you had said something before we got to the center of town.
Simon: Sorry. I'll try to do better.

Romantic Feelings

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Simon: I have trouble distinguishing between romantic feelings and other kinds of feelings.
Lily: That makes sense. "Romance" is a vague conglomeration of feelings and experiences associated with the norms of typical pair-bonding in our society - fluttery feelings, jealousy, sex, the desire for connection... all mixed together in a confusing and powerful stew.
Simon: The only one of those things I experience is a desire for connection. But it’s one of the strongest desires I have.
Lily: Everyone loves in their own way. Whether it's considered "ROMANTIC" doesn't determine how DEEP or VALUABLE it is.

The Fallacious Cycle of Romance

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Lily: Romantic feelings are overrated. People build their entire relationships on the assumption that they'll feel infatuated with each other forever. So when the warm fuzzy feelings fade, they start feeling denial and resentment and "what did we do wrong?" and probably eventually break up. You can't be COMMITTED to someone for the rest of your life, if that commitment depends on a FEELING. You have to accept that those feelings don't last forever, and build a foundation of trust, care, and mutual support. Falling in love isn't a BAD thing, but it's pretty unreliable.

Breaking Up

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Simon: Breaking up seems like a terrible experience. You spend so much time getting to know someone, and invest so much of yourself. They say things like "I'll always love you and I'll always be there for you," and suddenly they're gone forever, like none of it ever meant ANYTHING.
Lily: Relationships don't HAVE to be full of false promises. I still CARE about all the people I've dated. Unfortunately, the time when you learn the most about the strength of your connection is often right after you break up.

Justin

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Simon: You said your last relationship ended because of your PTSD?
Lily: Yeah. Justin. Suddenly I wouldn't go to his house, or any of the places he wanted to go.
Simon: And he dumped you because of that?
Lily: No. I felt guilty. I could tell he was resentful and I couldn't handle the pressure. Breaking up was my idea, and he agreed. He was always kind. I still feel bad about how it ended. If it weren't for that accident, we might have ended up together.
Simon: Did he really understand what you were going through?
Lily: That's a lot to ask. I didn't understand what I was going through.

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