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Fear of Men

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Simon: It seems like the fear of men is an inevitable consequence of all the autrocities men commit. I know a lot of people who are afraid of men because they've had traumatic experiences.
Lily: Yeah, and I know what it's like to have your fears shaped by trauma. But it's not inevitable for everyone else. It's cultural conditioning. The social justice movement challenges us to overcome our fear-based prejudices. It emphasizes that the actions of SOME people don't reflect on the group as a WHOLE. ...as long as it's a marginalized group, like Muslims. They COULD apply this value to privileged groups too, but whenever someone says ?not ALL men,? they protest. So there's no dominant narrative to STOP the fear of men from becoming a maladaptive, ingrained phobia.

Misogynistic Attitudes

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Simon: The narrative that "men are dangerous" probably isn't that helpful in a vague, general sense. It's statistically unlikely that you'll be randomly attacked on the street. That's not how most sexual assault happens.
Lily: True.
Simon: When I was in high school, I used to hear guys bragging about how they got girls drunk in order to ?convince? them to have sex. They didn't see it as assault, because they're socialized to think it's normal and expected, and that if they're NOT doing it, there's something WRONG with them. There's nothing inherently BAD about men, but people who are raised as male are indoctrinated with these misogynistic attitudes that enable abuse, and THAT's where the danger lies.

Asexual

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Lily: Did YOU get caught up in that mentality about the sexual pursuit of girls?
Simon: It didn't really sink in with me, because I had NO desire for sex at ALL. I'm asexual. It all seemed pretty alien to me.
Lily: So you've never had ANY desire for sex?
Simon: Nope. People often don't believe me, or they say "You just haven't met the right person yet! Just you wait."
Lily: Well, maybe I'm bisexual and I don't know it yet. Just because I've never been attracted to a girl doesn't mean I never WILL be.
Simon: I AM attracted to women, I just don't have any desire for a sexual or romantic relationship. The thing is, most people are so focused on the relationship they have, or FINDING a relationship, that they don't prioritize their friends the same way.
Lily: I know, I don't like that either! Why is everyone obsessed with romance? Have you ever listened to the radio and counted how many songs WEREN'T about romantic love or sex? Simon: No, I don't think I've ever listened to the radio long enough to count to ONE. (Radio playlist: If I Can't Have You, Someone You Loved, Call You Mine, What if I Never Get Over You, Boyfriend)

People in Boxes

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Lily: People have these boxes in their minds that everyone goes in. And if you doesn't fit into any of them, they end up rejecting your experience and trying to stuff you into one of the boxes anyway.
(3 boxes that say gay, straight, and bi)
Lily: If your whole life, you've been TOLD that these boxes are correct, it can be HARD to change your ideas enough to make NEW boxes, or adapt the boxes you already have.I've gone through that. I've dismissed people's experiences to make sense of the world, and later I realized how wrong that was.
Simon: I guess we've all done that at some point.
Lily: A good rule of thumb is that however many boxes you have, there will awlays be some people who don't quite fit into any of them, so leave some room in your mind for those people too.
(3 boxes : Star Trek fans, people who don't like sci fi, ?)

Star Trek

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Lily: Nice minimalist aesthetic, Simon.
Simon: I haven't gotten around to decorating yet. By which I mean, putting up my Star Trek posters.
Sasha: Star Trek? What's your favorite series?
Simon: The Next Generation.
Sasha: Mine too!
Lily: Are you going to tell him about your fan fiction?
Sasha: No.
Simon: What?
Sasha: It's not for normal people.
Lily: Um, excuse me, have you MET Simon?
Sasha: I mean it's about a thing and not everyone is into it. It revolves around a ship. Simon: Not the USS Enterprise?
Lily: GhghHAha! She means a character ship.
Simon: Ohh.
Sasha: Worf and Picard.

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